82490

Joke of the Day

"I phoned the Islamic Samaritans today When I said I was feeling suicidal they got all excited and asked if I knew how to fly a plane."

"Terrifying to think that one puff of marijuana can transform your life into a carnival of lies & ultimately, murder."

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef."

"Are your breast imported? Because they look like they're over C's"

"House Hunters: ""We want a slide, cheeseburgers, a clown."" Realtor: Are you describing McDonalds? ""haha no"" *3 kids tumble out of trenchcoat*"

"When our solar system was formed, the Sun was in charge... So the planets started a revolution."

"How do you have a party in space? You planet."

"What does a five year old and a penis have in common? If it doesn't come when you tell it to, then just beat it harder. (I am so sorry)"

"Smart cars are a good idea until you die in a 5 mph parking lot collision"

"A friend of mine collects National Geographic magazines, he really has a lot of issues."