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Joke of the Day

"Dear little baby Jesus, If I got what I deserved, it'd be bad. But my daddy deserves the best. Please send him a handsome son-in-law. Amen"

"Did you hear the one about the deaf guy? Neither did he."

"Why don't gelding horses like to race? Because every time they go to the starting gate they're reminded ""They're Off!""."

"How do you lose 30 pounds in 1 Minute? Go to England and buy something"

"If I got 50 cents for every failed math exam I'd have $ 6.30 now"

"[in ambulance] ""Sir, do you know your blood type?"" ""Yeah [coughs & points to wound] red."""

"Pretty sure the neighbors are impressed with the banging and screaming they heard. Little do they know it was just me chasing a spider."

"Yo momma so fat... I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing."

"So, a seal walks into a club..."

"4-year-old: What does God smell like? Me: 4-year-old: Me: Nachos. 4-year-old: With cheese?"