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Joke of the Day

"I can never understand why people act surprised when horrible things happen. Where have you been since birth?"

"There's a difference between racism and fact... Niggers are stinky - fact"

"I accidentally left the ""Shake to Shuffle"" feature of my iPod turned on during my run and listened to 2,379 songs in 4 miles."

"Yo mama is so fat that when she walked in front of the TV, I missed 3 seasons of Breaking Bad"

"Wife: We're not talking over the radio. This relationship is over. Me: This relationship is what? Over."

"What do you call a legless man at the beach during high tide? Fucked."

"I always bring a condom with me on a night out. Unfortunately, it's always the same one."

"The bartender says ""we don't serve your kind here."" A time traveller walks into a bar."

"A man goes to a $10 hooker and gets crabs He calls her out on it, and she replies, ""I was only $10. What did you expect, lobster?"""

"Hey girl... Hey girl I have a saving account and a dick. One is really big and one is really small but either way you will be satisfied"