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Joke of the Day

"Wife: We're not talking over the radio. This relationship is over. Me: This relationship is what? Over."

"WARNING: DO NOT TRY AND EAT WARREN BUFFET. HE IS NOT AN ACTUAL BUFFET AND IS NOT MADE OF FOOD"

"So many people try to be hip To me it is kind of a waist"

"The banana asked the vibrator... The banana asked the Vibrator ""Why are *you* shaking, shes going to *eat* me!"""

"What do you call Mariah Carey when she eats at a Indian restuarant? Mariah Curry"

"The best part of dating a homeless girl is You can drop her off anywhere."

"I don't know why people are surprised when I tell them my Grandfather Made it out of Auschwitz. Most of the German officers did."

"Roses are red violets are take your clothes off"

"How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You say ""Pikachu, GET THE FUCK ON THAT BUS!"""

"They should make Star Trek toilet paper... ...so you can help wipe Klingons off Uranus. (been a while since this one's been around. Just heard it again today from my 5 year old niece)"