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Joke of the Day

"I wonder if the Cabbage Patch Kids grew up to be bastards & whores that left their offspring in random gardens like their parents did."

"I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need."

"Snowy White and the 7 dwarves... Snowy White and the 7 dwarves were lying in bed feeling happy...but happy didn't like it and got out..."

"where does honey come from? beez nuts"

"Gross. Now I can't eat salmonilla without thinking about eggs."

"Started as a twitter crush, moved on to twitter boyfriend, now he's my twitter husband. Honeymooning on Google+ so we can be alone."

"Sometimes I make up raps about the mortgage brokers and escrow officers I work with in case one of these mother fuckers tries to battle me."

"Took me 5 minutes to pick up the soap I dropped in the shower so I hope I never commit a felony."

"Men don't ask for driving directions because we just don't want to arrive wherever you're making us go."

"What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced."