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Joke of the Day
"Question: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants? Answer: He heard the snowblower coming."
Next Joke
"My other calendar is a packet of birth control pills."
"Louisville Slugger makes professional baseball bats from kiln dried Chuck Norris turds."
"We should just name hurricanes after politicians. That way we wouldn't have to worry about them actually coming through with anything."
"The first Matrix director coming out as a trans-woman felt bold, unexpected and original.... .... the second one? Ehh... not so much."
"BOSS: Okay, let's do this. What names are you pitching? COWORKER: Hannah Montana ME: Assapoopshits Massachusetts BOSS: Michael you're fired"
"all my dance moves look like i'm trying to tell the guy on first base to steal second"
"Went to ""The Social Network."" I ran into people I didn't like in high school and they kept showing me pictures of their kids."
"Once my son was shooting nerfguns @ the clock &when I asked why said ""bc time killed the dinosaurs."" My kids are never leaving home are they"
"Two types of people that irritate me: 1. A drunk person when I'm sober. 2. A sober person when I'm drunk."