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Joke of the Day

"A sad man walks into a Coca-Cola carbonation factory... But he leaves because it was just soda pressing."

"A man asks his friend, ""What would you do if we only had 24 hours before the end of the world?"" ""I would fuck everything that moves"", his friend says. ""What would you do?"" ""I wouldn't move."""

"You haven't experienced awkward until you try to tickle someone who isn't ticklish."

"Two snakes Snake one asks ""Hey man, are we venomous?"" Snake two responds, ""Extremely. Why do you ask?"" ""Because I just bit my tongue"""

"What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Adelia ! Adelia who ? Adelia the cards after you cut the pack !"

"England 1 - 2 Iceland Credits to Iceland though, can't take that away."

"In hell, the thermostat is guarded by a bunch of dads."

"There are 2 truly difficult problems in Computer Science 0: Naming things 1: Cache invalidation 2: Off by one errors"

"What is 50 Cent's guiding philosophy? Be the change you want to see in the world."