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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand"

"If you tell your girlfriend you think the girl at in the corner shop fancies you, you'll never have to pop out to get bread and milk again"

"Kwanzaa and Festivus were both made up in 1966. One is a joke holiday that no one should take seriously. The other was featured on Seinfeld. hat tip to u/AudibleNod"

"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory... All I did was take a day off."

"My favourite joke when I was 9. ""Doctor, doctor, I feel like a row of theatres"" ""Did it happen suddenly?"" ""No, it came on in stages"""

"How does a Liverpudlian get to work... He doesn't."

"Maybe I forgot to text back. Maybe it's Maybelline."

"When a soldier goes sentimental, his favorite band will be Guns'N'Roses."

"Why would it be bad to be a black Jew? .....you would have stand in the back of the furnace! (Just jokes guys no hate here )"

"date: [breaks 3 minute silence] ""you dont have to use the chopsticks just to impress me"" me: [trying to pick up my beer] ""i can do it"""