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Joke of the Day

"I invented a new sex position called ""The Donald"" You grab her by the pussy and fling her over a wall."

"The Past, The Present and The Future walked into a bar. It was tense."

"If You're every attacked by a gang of clowns... go for the juggler."

"On a scale from 1 to... On a scale from 1 to 16, how illegal was she?"

"Why are men smarter during sex? Because they're plugged into a fucking know it all"

"I got pulled over today for going 112 mph in a 55 mph zone. The police officer said ""I've been waiting for someone like you all day."" I promptly replied ""Well I got here as fast as I could!"""

"Why was the baby elf sad? Because he was Legolas"

"What's the difference between Ellen Pao and a pitbull? Lipstick"

"The year 2932, lines for the new iPhone are so long, many die before reaching the end. Those who do, get back in line for the next phone."

"When George Washington was a general why did he like to have dogs around? They were very helpful during the ""Roverlutionary War!"""