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Joke of the Day

"What are the four most common types of states of matter? Solid, gas, liquid and Black Lives."

"I went to visit my grandfather in the hospital, but it was too late... He was already gone. His suffering is over now. He's gone home. He's doing much better, so the hospital discharged him!"

"Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool."

"Dear diary, Sometimes it just seems like I can't tell if something is an inanimate object or a person My therapist: Yes that's quite clear"

"Why won't hipsters listen to the Beatles until Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney die? Because they only want to listen to the Beatles when they're underground (Taken from Cyanide and Happiness comics)"

"I am so bad at self-deprecation"

"If Isaac Newton discovered gravity Why isn't he in the credits? (Crossposted from /r/shittyaskscience)"

"Did you know that NASA sent a bunch of cows into orbit? It was the herd shot round the world."

"Boy, are you a destination wedding? Cuz I can't come."

"Apparently, getting a vasectomy won't keep your wife from getting pregnant It just makes the baby's skin color black"