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Joke of the Day

"Why is a UTI such a bad thing? Because it means urine trouble"

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"Did you hear about Vivaldi's finances? He was one Baroque mother fucker"
"What do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a homosexual? A megasauranus."
"A jewish kid asks his dad for $5.... The Dad says, ""$4!? I don't have $3! What do you need $2 for??"
"#MakeAFilmUncomfortable Four Wedgies and a Funeral"
"Maybe if we press ""2"" for Spanish, we'll actually get someone that speaks English better then the person on the ""1"" line."
"How does Craig Venter drink beer? Shotgun method"
"I show people I love them by not spending time with them. It's the best thing I can offer."
"Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him ""a promising Rookie""."
"The first movable printing press was made In the renaissance. .. This gave more people to jack off to the first porn ever."