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Joke of the Day

"A jewish kid asks his dad for $5.... The Dad says, ""$4!? I don't have $3! What do you need $2 for??"

"""I'm not washing it, I'm just gonna shove it in a pony."" If you're a girl, that sentence is actually ok."

"[At job interview] Interviewer: So tell me why you want this job. Me: I have no money and I prefer when I have money."

"You know what they say about vasectomies... There's a vas deferens between the good ones and the bad ones. Thought of this yesterday, probobally done before but whatever"

"What does an arctic wildlife photographer get from sitting around too long? Polaroids. ^I ^know, ^that ^was ^god ^awful."

"If you like blowing candles on your birthday, what does that make you? A gay candle."

"Why did the T-Rex's girlfriend leave him? Because he said he only loved her this much (hold out t-rex like arms) Sorry this one requires a bit of a visual, but I thought you guys might like it"

"I told the insect I knew he used to be part of an elite military unit he was exuberant"

"Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The ceremony was okay, but the reception was great!"

"SCIENCE!!! Hey reddit, are you a 10 on the pH scale? Because you're pretty basic. ^^^^^jk ^^^^^dont ^^^^^kill ^^^^^me"