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Joke of the Day

"What is the flatulent fat guy's favorite song after his gf dumped him during Christmas? Last Christmas I gave you my fart"

"Have you ever heard of the similarities between a choo choo tran and a brthday? Neither have i"

"What do you call a cow masterbating? Beef stroking off"

"Growing a beard is the closest I've come to caring for an animal."

"Today I saw ""Jesus doesn't care about your grades"" written on the sidewalk in chalk and all I could think was ""Thank god, he'd be pissed"""

"What do you call it when a sheep sells his wool for money? Cashearing! (Joke I made up last night at work, so be gentle with me)"

"I painted my scanner black so it would run faster. Now it can't read."

"My wife is from England so I gave her a good Rogering for Valentine's Day. He just left and she seemed to enjoy it, so... score?"

"TIL Micheal Bay's 'Pearl Harbour' made almost $ 200 million... ...I thought that it bombed! [re-worded Greg Proops joke from DLM]"

"Ok son, the bad news is, your dog died while u were at school. The good news however, I found a vape pen in a tree mmmm onion flavor"