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Joke of the Day

"Growing a beard is the closest I've come to caring for an animal."

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"I'll usually order the chicken sandwich. I like my food to be more cowardly than I am."
"What do you do to a blind, deaf, dumb girl after raping her? You break her fingers so she can't tell anyone."
"Knock knock ""Who's there"" ""I'm the mailman"""
"To all you letters that want to be before P in the alphabet, join the Q."
"Why do librarians like the wind? It says, ""Shhh!"" all day!"
"Yeah but how do misinformed people feel about it?"
"You know what's really odd? Numbers not divisible by 2."
"How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw em."
"You know what I really like about you, girl? You're really down to earth. *waits for response, nothing. Goes to next tombstone* You know wha"