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Joke of the Day

"If the next president is white.... That means the entire country went black and successfully went back."

"What do you get when you place a Russian leader on a cracker? Putin on the Ritz."

"Asking a girl to the barbecue. Me: ""You going to the barbecue?"" Her: ""What barbecue?"" Me: ""The one where I stick my meat on your grill."""

"Why was the anomaly so poor? Because it didn't make any cents!"

"What was a poor Roman citizen's favorite breakfast? Fruity Plebbles."

"This hating of people breastfeeding in public should really stop. I can raise my cat any way I want to."

"Coworker: I like working with you. I feel like I can really talk to you Me: I'm sorry I gave you that impression. That's not correct"

"Went to my niece's elementary school field day last week. I won every single event. Every. Single. Event."

"[job interview] ""So do you have any questions you'd like to ask me?"" Can I wait a week until I take the drug test?"

"I had Chinese German food Hour later I was hungry for power"