121178

Joke of the Day

"This hating of people breastfeeding in public should really stop. I can raise my cat any way I want to."

"Why did the zombie start ripping up sheet music? Because he was de-composing."

"I await the announcement that Trump's running mate will be Charlie Sheen."

"Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidently swigged from a bottle of Liquid Paper... I woke this morning with a huge correction."

"A guy goes to the store to buy condoms, ""Do you want a bag?"" the cashier asks, ""No"" the guy says, ""she's not that ugly"""

"As a kid I could never understand why my mother would not let me play near the train tracks across the street from my house. Then it hit me."

"Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill really pisses me off. Now its only worth 2 more then a $10 bill..."

"Why was 11 afraid of 12? Because 12 13 14!!!!! GET IT?!?!??! source: some comment on reddit I read like 6 months ago"

"Today there was a sale at the Maul Everything was half off"

"What do you call the death of the Trilobites? An Epoch fail!"