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Joke of the Day

"I can't believe this guy took time away from his busy schedule of commenting on YouTube videos to make my McDonald's order wrong."

"Two muffins are in the oven. . . One turns to the other and says ""its a bit hot in here"", the other screams ""ahhh! a talking muffin"""

"What does it take to finish a race? More than a Holocaust"

"Are you into gardening stuff like sowing seeds? Well, I'll sew my dick to your forehead so you can seed-EEZ NUTS!"

"Just called the bank for my account info and a voice whispered 'If you break the pack in half, Ramen noodles can last you two days.'"

"What did one wall say to the other? I'll meet you at the corner!"

"Why can't you trick an unemployed jester? Because he's nobody's fool!"

"I don't care how funny you are, if I don't like you, I won't laugh."

"I'm the best at procrastinating.. Or the worst. Maybe I'll decide tomorrow"

"Hipsters probly don't eat carrots since they lose interest in things when there not underground anymore."