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Joke of the Day
"I'm the best at procrastinating.. Or the worst. Maybe I'll decide tomorrow"
Next Joke
"Q: WHY CAN`T BLONDES WATER-SKI? A: When they get their crotch wet they think they have to lay down."
"This motel room smells like despair. Or is that my deodorant? The tuna sandwich, maybe. This hooker? My jeans? I bet it's my jeans."
"ME [Puts up ""Have u seen my dog?"" posters across town] HER: Oh no! You've lost your dog! M: No I just think u should see him. He's awesome"
"Isn't it so awkward when you misplace a Rolex? It's like, do I want to tell people that there's a free Rolex on the loose? Relatable, right?"
"What do men and slurpees have in common? If you don't suck them fast enough they lose their shape."
"Where do blind people got to get their college degrees?"
"What came first? The chicken or the egg? Clearly the chicken. How would an egg orgasm?"
"""This is NPR."" Yeah, we know. You just spent the past 4 minutes whispering the news over a jazz saxophone solo."
"Two pretzels were walking down the street, then one got a-salted"