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Joke of the Day

"Two people have been killed and another seriously injured in a knife attack at an Ikea store in Sweden. Police are currently at the crime scene trying to piece the evidence together."

Next Joke
 
"A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket. ""Some asshole's got my pen"""
"Why did the cowboy adopt the weiner dog? He wanted to get a long little doggy!"
"'Don't say foreskin instead of four score don't say foreskin instead of four score you GOT this Abe' *AHEM* ""FORESKIN FUCK LEMME START OVER"""
"Synonym is just another word for a word that means the same thing as another word."
"What do you call a leper in a jacuzzi? Stew."
"Hey people who have the alarm noise as your ringtone, I'd like you to die."
"What kind of book does an Irish cultist read? The Leprenomichaun."
"How can you tell a Minnesota hockey fan? Ask him what color the blue line is and wait. It may take him ten minutes to answer."
"Me: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: I don't drink. Me: Then can I just give you $7.50 to talk with me for a few minutes?"