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Joke of the Day

"I was fired from my job as a bingo caller.... ....apparently ""a meal for two with a hairy view"" is not the way to call number 69."

"Did you hear the one about the two gay Irish dudes? Patrick Fitzhenry and Henry Fitzpatrick"

"What do you call delicious Vietnamese food? Vietnoms"

"*jumping on a trampoline* What do you mean you want full custody?"

"I'm good at telling dad jokes Hi good at telling dad jokes, I'm dad."

"Whoever made the almond-milk carton the exact same shape as the chicken-broth carton should have to eat this cereal."

"Friend: [rubs my shoulder] Aw, honey, your life isn't over. It's just beginning! Me: *sobs even harder"

"Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, ""Are you worried about mad cow disease?"" ""Not at all,"" says the other, ""I'm a helicopter."""

"why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? to get to the bottom!"

"TIL The U.S is #18 in Mathematics worldwide. At least we're in the top 10."