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Joke of the Day
"TIL The U.S is #18 in Mathematics worldwide. At least we're in the top 10."
Next Joke
"[interview] So what's a personal strength? ""Honesty."" And a failing? ""I murder people who don't hire me."""
"Another day done. Time to kick back and second-guess every social interaction I had at work."
"Me: You know, talking to yourself doesn't make you crazy. Me: I know, right? Me: It's a sign of advanced intelligence. Me: High-5. Me: Word."
"My MOM Says Life is A Race Life iS A Tragedt When SeeN In CloSE-UP, LONG-SHOT. To Truly Laugh, You Must be Able to Take Your PAIN, And PLAY With iT!"
"and on the 8th day god created drugs and everybody was like ""thanks god you're the shit"""
"""Don't worry, I'll hold your stuff. You just worry about making friends."" - Cargo Pants"
"A Mormon president would face the most difficult issue any president has. Deciding who's the First Lady, who's the Second Lady, and who's the Third Lady."
"How did the geometry teach kill himself? He used a hypote-""noose"""
"If an apple a day keeps the doctor away what does an onion do? Keeps everyone away."