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Joke of the Day

"*jumping on a trampoline* What do you mean you want full custody?"

"What's your ring tone? Pinkish with a bit of brown."

"Why did the console gamer cross the street? To render the rest of the buildings"

"making holy water is easy.... you boil the hell out of it but how to you turn that holy water back into regular tap water? You cook the bejesus out of it. *bejesus may be a local slang but i hope not."

"I bought pink cotton, but my wife wanted purple. So I killed her."

"i don't know why people think women are weak... well hell pots and pans are heavy"

"What do you call a black man flying a plane? A nigga, you occupationalist!"

"This stray cat on my balcony is looking at me like I'm invading its privacy."

"Odds are there is someone who is your ""Facebook Friend"" that you absolutely cannot stand and the only reason you keep them on your list is to watch their slow untimely demise."

"What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have Bird Flu, you need tweetment. If you have Swine Flu, you need oink-ment."