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Joke of the Day

"If the number 666 is considered evil... ...is the number 999 is considered LIVE?"

"What do you call 10 lepers in a swimming pool? Porridge"

"If I got a dollar everytime someone called me a racist Black people would rob me"

"#ReplaceBandNamesWithChicken Chicken (Weezer), Chicken (Rush), Chicken (Journey), Chicken (Kansas), Chicken (Radiohead), Chicken (Hole), Chi"

"80% of men say they'd marry the same woman all over again. Related: 80% of men are afraid that what they say will get back to their wives."

"A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge asks, ""First offender?"" She replied: ""No, first a Gibson, and then a Fender."""

"During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, ""where should I put my pants""? ""Over there by mine"", was not the answer I was expecting."

"Whats the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"My son wants a new iPhone for Christmas and I'm having fond memories of when he couldn't talk."

"*flips over table* *table flips back up* Table: You got a problem? Me: DO YOU? Table: ... Me: HUH? Table: ... Me: I SAID DO WE HA- Table: No"