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Joke of the Day

"A family walks into a hotel The father goes to the front desk and says ""I hope the porn is disabled."" The guy at the desk replies. ""It's just regular porn you sick fuck."""

"Can God be an atheist? Yes, if he has low self esteem and stops believing in himself."

"When I leave a plane, I tighten the belts before I leave so that whoever sits there next will think ""wow, whoever sat here was very thin""."

"My wife said if this comment is gilded we'll do anal... I sure hope it isn't, my ass'll be grass when she's done with it..."

"If a woman has fallen an idiot will walk by, a gentleman will help her to get up, but a real man will lie down with her."

"Just found out my cat lied about being pregnant just to try and save our relationship and cover up for getting fat."

"Black girls twerk, Hispanic girls hip roll, Indian girls belly dance & white girls watch."

"""This is so wrong,"" I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling as I butter a donut"

"Hey, baby. Are you cheese? 'Cause you look gouda to me."

"Someday I'm gonna open a pawn shop and blow everyone's mind when I only sell rooks, bishops and knights."