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Joke of the Day
"Life doesn't matter. Life IS matter."
Next Joke
"What does the Michael Jackson action figure have written on the back of the box? Not suitable for children. Colors may vary."
"The difference between a girl in church and a girl in the bathtub? one has hope in her soul."
"So I went to a zoo today... But it only had one small dog. It was a shih tzu."
"Nothing says ""I'm an American"" more than ordering a pizza online and tweeting about it and then hating soccer."
"Why are you screaming my name? I'm right here.. Having sex is weird."
"Under the sea, under the sea...wouldn't the water pressure crush mermaids, realistically?"
"My seven year old grandson made this one up. Why did the guy take his (computer) tablet to the cemetery? Because it was dead."
"Please make sure my tombstone reads: wish you were here."
"Being a parent is the opposite of the Jenny Craig diet. ""I gained 20lbs & all I did was eat small portions of my toddlers leftover dinner."""