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Joke of the Day

"Why can't Micheal Bay be a farmer? Because he dosen't have a plot."

"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his cock."

"Some say that the Mongols created the first iteration of the Ideal Gas Law. After all, they were pneumatic experts."

"So you could say USA nuked Japan in the woman's world cup. Too soon?"

"Whats the first thing you do when you spill something on your keyboard? Try to disable sticky keys."

"Microsoft should try making an optimistic and articulate robot that adjusts its responses based on interactions with the public. They could call it Marco Rubio."

"You come home early and catch the cat eating with a knife and fork at the table. You stare at each other unsure of the next move."

"What kinds of boobs are popular in the workplace? Pos-tits."

"What's black and eats pussy? Cervical Cancer"

"My therapist says I'm paranoid. He didn't *actually* say that I but I know he was thinking it."