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Joke of the Day
"You thought i would bring up an old meme from 5 years ago? Nope, Chuck Testa"
Next Joke
"If my girlfriend is late for work & looking for keys, I help by following her around the house & looking in exactly the same spots she does."
"Never trust someone who tells you mashed cauliflower tastes just like mashed potatoes. They'll lie to you about other things, too."
"I can't stop traveling to Southern Spain. It's all so Moorish."
"What kind of gum do astronauts chew? Hubble Bubble"
"My voicemail greeting: Hey, it's me. Please hang up and text me."
"If I reject your call the first two times, ring me again. I'm really just testing your resolve."
"Wife: We're not talking over the radio. This relationship is over. Me: This relationship is what? Over."
"Why is it a bad idea for China to become a democracy? Do you know how hard it would be to orchestrate a national erection"
"""i used to live in india, now I live in indiana"" ""is there a difference?"" ""na"""