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Joke of the Day

"Ambien: Remember the time we picked a fight with Gary's garden gnome, chugged a jar of mayonnaise & passed out naked in Arby's parking lot?"

"How did the bucket's mom know he was sick? He was a little pail."

"Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year!"

"I'd rather take a bullet for my son than cover for him when mom asks who left the dirty dishes in the sink..."

"Trying to find an anagram for mobile piss' is impossible."

"What's the difference between 3 and 13? Nothing, they both have 1 3"

"Gay men aren't fags. Guys who do 70mph, on a suburban side street, in their second-rate sports cars are fags."

"Hey baby are you a basic bitch? Cause you're alkafine!"

"A dog peed on my bike today. Of course I did not put up with that. I peed all over it immediately."

"Why did the Catholic cross herself?"