81985

Joke of the Day

"I just ran into my high school bully and it was great cause I'm doing well and he's 17 which is very old for a dog"

"I notice you only call when you want something Person calling: ma'am your bill is 90 days past due"

"Your first mistake was wearing heels in this dodgeball tournament, Jason. The second was thinking that they went with that dress."

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. ~ Will Shriner"

"Pedophile pulls up next to a kid and says ""Hey little boy, come in my car and I'll give you a lollie"" kid says ... ""Give me the whole bag and I'll come in your mouth"""

"If I lived in medieval times I'd get laid a lot because ""Would dost thou enjoy my penis shoved into thine lady parts? sounds fucking classy."

"What do you call a neolithic taking a walk? A meanderthal"

"I feel like every time a GOP candidate drops out, Oompa Loompas should appear & sing a song to teach us about the perils of gluttony & greed"

"Why is ink an unwise investment? Because it's a dyeing industry. - This is too obvious a joke to be original, but it came to me during my econ class, and so it's original to me!"

"My wife says that all she wants is an attentive lover...... ...or maybe it was a tent of lovers. I don't really know, I wasn't paying attention."