81972
Joke of the Day
"I JUST DRUNK 37 MONSTER ENERGYS AND NOW I CAN SMELL ABSTRACT LEGISLATIVE EUPHEMISMS"
Next Joke
"How do you make a hormone? Slap her in the bum."
"For a tiny person unable to wipe herself after she poops, my toddler has managed to hit me dead in the eyeball with 4 things today."
"If a boy touches your... Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say ""don't"" and if he touches your pussy say ""stop""? Daughter: But mom, he touched both so I said ""don't stop"""
"Wanna hear a medically incorrect racist joke? Glaucoma is short for driving like Asians syndrome"
"Best advice I can give to newlyweds is to buy a really comfortable couch."
"My girlfriend has twelve breasts. It seems kind of freaky, dozen-tit?"
"What did the astronomer say to the telescope in lingerie? ""Hubble, Hubble."""
"So a guy comes into my bar for a beer... I give it to him and he says, ""Hey! There's a fly in this!"" Embarrassed I look and say, ""Oh no, that's just Gnatty Lite."""
"I bet it really confuses poor Forrest Gump to see Lt. Dan on TV solving crimes in New York."