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Joke of the Day

"For a tiny person unable to wipe herself after she poops, my toddler has managed to hit me dead in the eyeball with 4 things today."

"*Jesus hanging on cross next to thieves* Lean in guys, let's do a face swap"

"How does a mathematician cure constipation? How does a mathematician cure her constipation? She works it out with a pencil."

"What do you call two beer drinkers arguing about sea turtles? Lager-heads at loggerheads about Loggerheads."

"What do Jews in Nazi Germany and children at Penn State have in common? They're both afraid of showers"

"Some jokes on Mexicans can be funny, but a lot of the times they cross the border. ^^^^^OC ^^^^^but ^^^^^rephrased"

"Christmas these days is a lot like having sex the build up is great but when it finally comes, I regret spending all that money."

"If men have man caves, why dont women have woman caves? They do, we just universally named it the kitchen many years ago."

"Which fairy tale character would be most likely to be shot by the police? An un-armed gingerbread man"

"What doesn't float to the top when it dies? A day old reddit post."