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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an alligator in a vest? An in-vesti-gator!"

"Pair of Twins I've been shagging a pair of twins recently, and my friend asked me ""How do you tell the difference?"". I told him ""It's easy! Julie has long blonde hair..."" ""..and Derek has a moustache"""

"I hate how you're just born out of nowhere, forced to go to school and get an education so you can get a job. What if I wanted to be a duck."

"Dear Father Christmas could you please send me some Crocodile shoes!. Father Christmas: Can't do that one. He hasn't said what size his crocodile takes!"

"Why can't Jesus eat pizza? Because he doesn't exist."

"One drink, I feel glamorous Two, I get amorous Three, a bit stammerous Anymore than four, I'm on the floor, all drooly and hammerous"

"Top 5 oxymorons: 1. Jumbo shrimp 2. Civil war 3. Virtual reality 4. Great outdoors 5. Family vacation"

"What is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold."

"Thousands of stoners give up smoking weed to avoid having any association with Justin Bieber. Cleverest. Government. Propaganda. Ever."

"My favorite animal at the zoo is the gorilla... I ain't lion."