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Joke of the Day

"How do you take your coffee? **Barista:** How do you take your coffee? **Customer:** Ferguson Police **Barista:** Huh? **Customer:** Black, two shots."

"*Gets called into HR Me: What was I accused of now? HR: I haven't had any sexual harassment claims against you lately. Is everything ok?"

"[Shipwrecked diary] Day 1: I found a pen, and a notebook to write in. More pens. I might be in a Staples. Printer paper. I'm in a Staples."

"I'd like to have a child one day. Two days, tops."

"I tried to blow a hair off my laptop screen so now there's some spit next to the hair."

"I told my girlfriend to roleplay as a a Lvl 100 Charizard while we were having sex. She scratched me and told me that I didn't have enough badges to train her."

"How do you keep a blonde busy? Write ""Please turn over"" on both sides of a page and hand it to her."

"What does a woman on her period get for free when she takes a bath? Black pudding."

"Why are bananas so popular? Because they have appeal"

"So a guy gave his friends 10 puns to try and make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did."