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Joke of the Day

"Russian Roulette 5/6 doctors say that its safe to play."

"3 - DAD! HEY DAD! Me: Don't yell from the door son! Walk here and talk to me 3 - *walks over* 3 - I stepped in dog poop, what should I do?"

"With a name like Progressive, shouldn't the commercials be better by now?"

"""Wow! Go show your mommy!"" -what I say to any child talking to me for more than 11 seconds."

"Can't believe a woman would grow a life inside of her for 9 months and then name it Ian."

"Learn from your parents mistakes... Use birth control"

"Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calender? They each got 6 months."

"I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected. "

"Why were the two managers sitting around sketching crockery before the start of the game? It was a cup draw!"

"Socialism Q. Why did the dyslexic escapologist join the International Socialists? A. because he wanted to help untie the human race."