190711

Joke of the Day

"Why are there interstates in Hawaii?"

"How are a pair of skinny jeans like a cheap motel? No ballroom"

"Ok so the Past, the Present, and the Future walked into a bar. It was tense."

"How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram"

"Try not to put yourself in a position where you have to say ""I'm not actually a Nazi"""

"a keyboard walks into a barbershop on the international space station ""i just want an easy, short cut"". then he hit the bar"

"Swimming in the Ocean I while back I was sitting on a beach in Mexico watching this guy in the ocean screaming ""HELP SHARK, HELP!"" I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him."

"why did the lawyer of a satanist go to hell because he was playing devils advocate"

"Me: did you know that abbreviating names can be really confusing? GF: really? Me: yeah George Foreman: that's interesting"

"Why should you never eat your girl out in the morning? Ever pull apart a grilled cheese sandwich?"