81518

Joke of the Day

"Jan 1st, 2017: I'm finally going to start learning guitar. haha only kidding I'll probably just ride out my current interests until I die."

"Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty, and money can buy a lot of other really cool stuff, so try to have some at all times."

"What happened to the dwarf who walked between a lady's legs? He got a clit around the ear and a flap on the face."

"What's the worst kind of media? chlamydia"

"The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list."

"Told my co-workers this joke about mandatory meetings. You really had to be there."

"[at bar] Him: Why's a pretty girl like you sitting all alone? Me: I peed my pants."

"I found a cheap prosthetic arm on Craigslist Secondhand"

"When people talk to me I cut them right off and say ""I don't believe a god damn thing you just said"" then start making otter noises."

"What do you call an angry witch? Ribbit."