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Joke of the Day

"A walk in the woods helps me relax and release tension. The fact that I'm dragging a body behind me should be irrelevant"

"Did you hear about the two nuts walking down the street? One was a salted"

"Maybe it's just me, but reading books on an iPad Mini, I really miss the smell, the heft, the traditional reading experience of an iPad 2."

"[Interview] HR - What are your strengths and weaknesses ? Me - WiFi Password and WiFi Signal."

"Why do Jewish men get circumsized? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't 10% off"

"Nothing scares me more than when my husband answers me and I'm left wondering just how much he's actually been listening."

"OMG! THERE'S A SERIAL KILLER ON THE LOOSE! ""OMG."" Wtf are you doing?! ""HIDING MY DAMN CEREAL!"""

"""Give it to me!"" she yelled ""I'm so fucking wet! Give it to me now!"" ... She could scream all she wanted. I was keeping the umbrella."

"Cavemen were smarter than we think. Do you know why cavemen dragged their women around by the hair? It was so they wouldn't fill up with rocks."

"If you always think the grass is greener on the other side, maybe you should water what the fuck you have and see how that works out first."