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Joke of the Day

"""Give it to me!"" she yelled ""I'm so fucking wet! Give it to me now!"" ... She could scream all she wanted. I was keeping the umbrella."

"Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud"

"My penis was once in the Guinness book of world records But then the librarian told me to take it out"

"Homework. The teachers' way of knowing how smart the parent is."

"[sees old friend after 4 years] ""God, you were so fat back in school."" ""Yeah, well I lost a lot of it last year."" ""No you didn't."""

"Did you hear about the organic chemical terrorist group? They call themselves Al-Dehydes."

"HOLLYWOOD They wanted me for the lead role in Twelve Years a slave but id only been married for 10"

"One a Vietnamese game show, two brothers won 5 million dollars cash and an automatic convertible It was a Nguyen Nguyen situation."

"What do you call a complaining adult? A groan up!"

"My friend eats Dead People but it's okay because he's a Fungi"