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Joke of the Day
"Life's too short for 1-ply friends. You need people who can handle your shit."
Next Joke
"I went to the premature ejaculation clinic today. They told me my appointment isn't until tomorrow."
"When a couple argues the guy will say what's on his mind, the girl will say what's on her mind & 99 other things that should've been on his."
"Me: How are you feeling Grandpa? Grandpa: Oh you know with my hands mostly."
"What's brown and sticky. A stick."
"Why don't they just use a 3 year old with a drum set as an enhanced interrogation technique?"
"*around a fire* There used to be no iMessage *kids gasp* ""So there were a lot of green messages?"" THEY WERE ALL GREEN MESSAGES *kids scream*"
"Why don't klansmen like to eat sushi? because that would be a case of rice mixing"
"*wears one gryffindor and one slytherin sock to work to represent the internal human struggle between good and evil*"
"I put the 'fun' in 'dyslexic'."