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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar . . . He says ""Ow""."

"When I was a child, my dad tried to force-feed me. After a while, my mum said, ""Just use a fucking spoon, Mike. You're not a Jedi."""

"I used to know a friend who got sent to a mental hospital because he thought he was an orange. Poor Terry...... He got sectioned."

"worst place to be stung by bees is the club bc it just looks like you're doing cool dance moves & sure u win the dance off but at what cost"

"I just went to see the local police chief give a talk on heroin. I couldn't understand a word he said"

"Not to brag, but I've already had two pretty sweet dates this weekend I'm surprised how much they added to my smoothie."

"What do you call a pig in a trailer? Pulled pork!"

"A thief broke into my house, looking for money I got up and did the same thing."

"What's got 40 balls and fucks ducks? A 12 Gauge Shotgun"

"They should make a Bollywood movie about a poor Punjabi guy that wins a singing contest against all odds. It'd be called Singh: A Song"