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Joke of the Day
"Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is"
Next Joke
"What do you get if you cross a rooster with a disobedient dog? A cock that doesn't come."
"Me: kids, your mother & I are in a gang now. There's room for 2 more members Son: but there's 3 of us Me [petting both our dogs]: 3 what?"
"Why did the lead acid battery have to tell the truth? Because if it didn't it would be Li-ion."
"*sets cauldron over crackling fire* *adds lock of his hair* *does magicky stuff* Now love me. **POOF** *my left eyebrow falls off*"
"Doctor talking to a woman Doctor says: It looks like you're pregnant. Woman says: I'm pregnant? Doctor says: No, it just looks like you're pregnant."
"Trump wants to appoint Ben Carson to the Department of Education, but I think he would do better in the FDA He can feed everyone with all of the grain in those pyramids."
"A frenchman walks into a library And asks the Librarian if he can checkout a book about War. The Librarian responds, ""No, you'll lose it."""
"Strategy du jour for combating 5 & 7yo's over-competitiveness: ""First person to say it's a race loses."""
"What's the difference between ""a choice"" and "" to choose?"" ""A choice"" is a decision you make. ""To choose"" are what Mexicans put on their feet."