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Joke of the Day

"Trump wants to appoint Ben Carson to the Department of Education, but I think he would do better in the FDA He can feed everyone with all of the grain in those pyramids."

"What do you call two crows on a branch? Attempted murder."

"MAN!! My boss is always all ""Blah blah blah!"", ""You're late!"", and ""Get me more pictures of Spiderman!!"""

"The sun is so self centered... It acts like the world revolves around it."

"A month before my grandfather died we had tried everything to cure him. We then heard you could try covering him head to toe in baby oil - after that he went downhill very quickly."

"Did you heard about the cardiac arrest victim? He was shocked when he survived"

"What do you call a basin full of denim? A gene pool!"

"What's the difference between an Electrician and someone who's high? The electrician knows where the ground is."

"Why did the horse feel famous on Reddit? He was gelded."

"He who goes forth with a fifth on the Fourth, may not come forth on the fifth!"