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Joke of the Day

"*horror movie ""The calls are coming from inside the house!"" ""Can you find out from where? I want some chips but I'm too lazy to get up."""

"DADT repeal is causing apprehension and high expectations among the military's top brass The navy, in particular, is eagerly awaiting a flood of fresh seamen."

"Two white guys and a black guy go to the police station The two white guys return"

"What kind of pictures does a mermaid take on her phone? Shelfies."

"The new iPhone 6s Plus is going to be a smash hit. Yeah, I heard it's a HUGE 6S."

"I have feelings for you. Please take them and leave."

"""Can I pet your dog?"" ""Sure, but he can be aggressive."" [He pushes a pamphlet about the dangers of gluten towards me with his nose]"

"Two parrots are sitting on a Perch One says to the other ""Can you smell fish?"""

"Wind Farms..... I'm a big fan!"

"Friend: If Nicki Minaj, Ke$ha, Nickelback, and Creed all died in a plane crash who would you miss the most? Me.. F... M.. F.. Me: the pilot"