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Joke of the Day

"*horror movie ""The calls are coming from inside the house!"" ""Can you find out from where? I want some chips but I'm too lazy to get up."""

"What is cleverer than a talking cat ? A spelling bee !"

"1 in 3 homicides start with a passive aggressive note. But of course you are too busy to read it."

"Three blondes are sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is sucking hers one is biting hers one is licking hers. Which one is married? The one with the wedding ring YOU SICK-O!"

"My son ask me dad why don't I have a mom because she was shocked when I presented you too her and told her here's are new son"

"Terrible music pun If a person were to have sex with Andrew Stockdale, would that make them a wolf, motherfucker?"

"You know you're fat when when... Your penis is an *innie*."

"What did Mitt Romney say to C3P0? Threepio, hand me those binders, willya?"

"""Look on the bright side - at least there's more for us to drink with him gone"" is, apparently, not something one should say at a wake."

"My mom: I was thinking of getting my grandson a drum set for Christmas! Me: Funny. I was just thinking about getting a new mother."