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Joke of the Day

"feedback 4 people revving motorbikes loud in residential areas: there is absolutely 0% chance that u r impressing literally a single person"

"Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I'm very disappointed with all of you."

"Have you seen the new iPhone card trick? It's the one where all the jacks dissappear"

"In the beginning, God created Heaven and Earth. Everything else was made in China."

"Floyd was supposed to hug his wife and fight his opponent he got them mixed up."

"Just found out exercising... ...and exorcising are two very different things. Officially canceling my membership to the most terrifying gym ever. (via @wiseguypictures)"

"Who's this ""moderation"" people keep telling me to drink with?"

"A guy cat calls a girl ""Hey, what's up girl?"" ""My eyes."""

"[talking to mcdonalds cashier] which burger has the most acai berry vitamins and superfood antioxidants?"

"What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? A hockey player takes shower after three periods."