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Joke of the Day
"If you can't love the one you want, love someone who looks like them and just squint a lot."
Next Joke
"NASA claims that they've just discovered blood sucking bugs on the moon. They're a bunch of lunatics."
"A woman marries a man..... A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does."
"I baked a cake shaped like Canada, and offered my brother the Quebec slice.... but he's having Nunavut."
"Children of reddit, what have you pretended to be mad at your parents for but were actually secretly impressed by?"
"Why did god make homosexuality a sin? Because His boyfriend thought that would make it hotter."
"Hear about the state-of-the-art amputation device? All I know is it's pretty cutting edge..."
"Like a stoned man once said, I can't remember."
"Bartender: YOU'RE the guy that drinks from the soap dispenser in the toilets? Me: [I try to say ""NO"" but it's just lavender scented bubbles]"
"Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tyred. Alexa gave me that one. Bing Bang boom."