812

Joke of the Day

"What do you call an inspiring jerk session? A stroke of genius!"

"Had sex for the first time yesterday. It was a load off my chest. And a load onto hers."

"Somewhere a village is missing its idiot. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I can't remember where I live."

"[mom sneaks up & scares son; ruins coloring] Narrator: Does this happen to u? Then u need... [cut to mom jumping on 1 foot & yelling] Legos"

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Without a dick."

"Some people say that The Big Bang Theory disproves God... I mean, sure, it's not the best show, but I wouldn't go *that* far."

"Policeman: Did you know your vehicle was reported stolen? Criminal: It wasn't when I took it."

"If you break up and get back together more than twice, I will not listen or care about your relationship problems you idiot."

"Q. Why does Rilla get mad when he's in a race? A. Because all his friends shout ""GO-RILLA!"""

"""Socks... they're like... soft little canoes for your feet."" - Don Draper, having a stroke"