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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a clean, good looking well behaved monster? a failure!"

"Taco Bell manager: I'm sorry, you didn't get the job. It's your drug test Me: so you mean... Manager: yes, you passed. Get high & re-apply"

"What do you call an international criminal waffle that you dropped at the beach? Carmen Sandy Eggo"

"I just read that Disney is making a sequel to Bambi. He gets revenge on the hunters that killed his mother. They're calling it....... Bambo"

"What do you call a blond standing on her head? A brunette with bad breath."

"Ever have sex with a schizophrenic? It's fucking crazy."

"Pretty sure that Twitter is not one of the seven habits of highly effective people."

"What the difference between a catholic priest and a pimple? Pimples wait until puberty to come on your face."

"Liz from HR just called me in. I guess my thigh gap is distracting everyone, like that's my fault"

"Did you hear about the eagle that performed a piano concerto? The applause was quite raptor-ous!"