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Joke of the Day

"How many homeless people does it take to screw a light bulb? does anyone know of any good jokes about homeless people.?"

"Men think of arguments as single isolated events. Women, in my experience, think of them as installments in some sort of perpetual continuum"

"What's long, green, slimy and smells like pork? Kermit the frog's finger"

"What did the bartender say to the alien? ""You're drunk ET, go home!"""

"I just ordered a cup of coffee from a BP gas station. The attendant spilled it. Why am I not surprised?"

"[Plane starts to go down] *Frantically shoves an entire bag of Life Savers GummiesTM into my mouth*"

"Why do people hate playing uno with Mexicans? They keep stealing green cards."

"What do you call someone who impersonates a lousy mom? Bad mother faker."

"What's Isis' favorite race? The 100-meter daesh. Q: What's Isis' favorite punctuation mark? A: The em-daesh. Q: How much cinnamon does the Isis recipe for gingersnaps call for? A: Just a daesh."

"I have a rare mental condition that makes me see a gold next to my submit on reddit Edit: Thanks for the gold!"