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Joke of the Day

"""Okay class, today we are going on a trip... *hands out acid*"

"How do you make a dog sound like a cat? You freeze it, put it on a bandsaw and cut it; ""Meoooow""."

"Testing, please ignore Test^(ing)"

"Me: Close your eyes. Give me your hand, darling. Can you feel my heart beating? Do you unders... Dr:(removes stethoscope) Really? Everytime?"

"What do you call a porno starring Rowan Atkinson? A Bean Flick"

"Your momma is so fat, we are all concerned for her health."

"Now that I've removed my windshield wipers I shouldn't be getting anymore parking tickets."

"I figure that its safe to ask. How are those New Year's resolutions going?"

"I just got the heebie jeebies. That's what I get for having unprotected sex with a ghost."

"""""Dammit I'm Mad"" is spelled the same way backwards. Think about it."""