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Joke of the Day

"[job interview] ""any public speaking experience?"" not since the valedictorian speech in high school ""very impressive"" I yelled 'YOU SUCK'"

"A little girl asks her grandad... ""Would you make a frog noise for me?"" The grandad, confused asks, ""why?"" The little girl replies, ""dad says when you croak we are all going to disneyland""."

"My mate wears the same jacket when he's impersonating either Matt Damon or Hugh Jackman. Maybe he's Bourne with it, maybe it's Wolverine."

"Last night I ate a full package of Cinncinati zoo Gosh, I must've spent hours in the bathroom."

"Saw a FB group called 'I hate rapists'. *Phew* glad we solved that problem. Anything else we need to tackle while I've got the keyboard out?"

"""Live this Friday like it was your last."" The Mayans"

"What do you call a porn with two couples? A pair-a-mount picture."

"BlackBerry: being significantly less obvious than a magazine to carry into the office shitter since 2002."

"A very interesting poem > I dig > You dig > He dig > She dig > They dig > We dig It might not be very long, but I think it is very deep."

"When I first went on the pill, I put on a bit of weight. Which proved to be a very effective contraceptive."